This is the first dream journal recording of mine, in my quest to perfect the art of lucid dreaming and explore the stars in various souped up cars.

Without reason or explanation I found myself standing ontop a fluffy cloud with mushrooms growing out of it and giant green pipes rising thousands of feet from the earth. Well shit! It's a mario dream! I wandered around a bit and found a ton of people lined up for a few laps around the cloud-based track i happened to wake up on, one of them was my arch nemesis, that terrible bulldyke Rosie O'Donnell. "God damnit", i thought, "I am not about to let her take home the trophy today". I manifested a kart of my own, modelled after the white 94 ford bronco that O.J. Simpson drove in his infamous yawn-speed police chase (a recurring theme in all my dreams, every car I drive just happens to be OJ's bronco). The race began and straight away the terrible bitch attempted to ram me straight off the track, an impossible to survive drop straight down onto the mushroom kingdom. I would have none of it, so i just plain reached over and decked her in the jaw and gained the lead for a full lap. It was smooth sailing until she got back up to me, pulled out a pistol and shot one of my tires out. Failing miserably to regain control i go careening off the edge of the track, only to realize that this ridiculous situation could only be a dream, and immediately pulled up on the wheel to control my kart like a damn airplane, while also fixing my tire through psychokinetic powers. I touched down just ahead of Rosie, who took advantage of the lull in my lucidity to blue shell me (from second place! what a cunt!) on the final lap, leaving me in 8th place.

I woke up pissed.