dude wher the hot biitches at? i went to dis party SO many sexy hot sluts but then my boy c-lyle went and did a pukke ALl OVER this one chiks pants lol man i need to get laid u kno [check it out]

It's about fucking god damn time! Jesus Christ! Lady chinamen drive down the fucking highway faster than this vinic prick can code an asshole sensor. I don't need no god damn internets coding for my asshole sensor to work. It's on right now. And it's pointing at that one-nut slit. [check it out]

I was nearly asleep, when a thought suddenly popped in to my head. What will happen to the children of all those freakjob furries that manage to meet up and start families? I'm talking about the ones that are really demented, the ones that are three hundred and fifty pounds a peice, cant fit in a shower, and make the public aware that they are out of their trees by wearing cat-ear headbands and belts with tails on the back. The ones that honestly believe they've got a spirit animal and bring it up in every conversation they happen to be in earshot of. ¶ Holy christ, these kids do not stand a chance. Imagine that you are eight years old and one day your dad comes in your room, sits down next to you on your bed and starts telling you about how you've got a tail and nobody can see it. Then he goes on to tell you all this fake shit about how anthropomorphism is more viable than getting girls that dont draw wolf boners on the internet. ¶ Maybe those kids will be alright. Some of... [check it out]

Dear Internet Gods and/or no one in particular, In the future, please do not randomly delete lines of code in my shit. It's a dick move. Sincerely, This guy. PS: If you do it anyway I'm going to stop eating your son and drinking his blood every Sunday. [check it out]

LOL CRAIG DO U KNO WHERE UR MOMM KEEPS TEH COMDONS I NEED @ KNO REAL QUICK D))D K [check it out]

I didn't see you come in. Please, join me. Do you appreciate my face? You do. You do. [check it out]

I took three dumps today. As I grow older the only difference seems to be that I have a schedule. There's your dump update. [check it out]

We got our asses kicked today by a pissed off gorilla. I'd care but we're all pretty much fine. Besides, pissing off a gorilla to the point of attack by just saying something is a pretty hard thing to do. [check it out]

We got our asses kicked today by a pissed off gorilla. ¶ Flush acted like a dick and we all paid for it man. The hairy thing came at us like a chubby yeti, dude. I bet he could pass off as one. A chubby yeti. He'd be the best at it. [check it out]

We got our asses kicked today by a pissed off gorilla. Fucker just lunged at us when I told him his story about high-fiving Stained Glass Widow's hand was bullshit. What a dick. [check it out]

yo dog i got dis mesage fo u man [check it out]

A tale I would like to share with you all, sparked by a random Googling of my old screen name turning up an old fan's web site. I've decided to refrain from mentioning any names, as our site tends to rank high on Google searches. Plus, being from Gamefaqs, I fear that drawing the idiots of the erivrjrengv* here would make us all stupider by proxy. This is also the reason why I've ROT13'd their little group's name. ¶ *Yes, they actually called themselves that. How prententious can you ge... [check it out]

If you haven't heard of Lurapets, then here, take a look. It's yet another virtual pet website "game," except this one is 100% shit. Important links don't work, and you can't learn anything about the game unless you register an account. It's also a near copy of another pet site. Lurapets is run by Ken, a 30 year old asshole who likes to rip people off. How does he rip people off? Here's the process he uses: ¶ 1. Visit the pages of artists, and contact them if they have cool stuff (fu... [check it out]

Holy christ the dream i had last night had me running from both the police and Grant from the movie Slither in his badass giant snake form. My first order of business was to leap from rooftop to rooftop without attracting the attention of anything with a gun or a tentacle arm that can sharpen into a cut-me-in-half arm blade. I decided to lay low in a warehouse for the night, but the next morning the joint was surrounded by cops due to me messing with the lights too much. Who the fuck set up that... [check it out]

This morning's dream involved me meeting this red-haired chick who invited me over to her house to meet all 20 of her brothers and sisters. Jesus christ. There were a fuckton of them, holy hell, all of them older than me even. I have no clue why she invited me to a frickin' family reunion. Anyways after the scene i went home and a day or three in dream-time passed when this girl called me up and said some nonsense that translated into "you should come over again." Unfortunately for me, i forgot... [check it out]

This is the first dream journal recording of mine, in my quest to perfect the art of lucid dreaming and explore the stars in various souped up cars. ¶ Without reason or explanation I found myself standing ontop a fluffy cloud with mushrooms growing out of it and giant green pipes rising thousands of feet from the earth. Well shit! It's a mario dream! I wandered around a bit and found a ton of people lined up for a few laps around the cloud-based track i happened to wake up on, one of them w... [check it out]

STOP FORGETTING YOUR PASSWORD YOU DUMB NIGGER! ¶ JUST THINK OF SAKAFAP AND CUMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM [check it out]

PRICE IS BLOOD. SHIPPING IS FREE. SHIPPING IS EXPRESS. ALL SALES FINAL. [check it out]

So i am taking a few classes at the community college and one of them is jetpack piloting. The professor is really mean! the first day he waited until 12:15 exactly to fly in through an open window and shred around the room before landing infront of the dry erase board. then he said "You will call me Mr. McFury" or something mean sounding like that and asked who didnt have their book yet. Me and another girl and some guy raised our hands and he got really pissed and kicked a table over. Then... [check it out]

As most of you well know, I buy a lot of games off eBay and Half.com. Unfortunately, the latter has recently been plagued by an epidemic most foul - sellers are, whether knowingly or not, selling cheap bootlegs in place of actual product, most proiminently GBA and DS titles. ¶ Now, I can see why one would want to CD-R games like Radiant Silvergun, Final Fight Revenge and Snatcher; legit copies were, after all, produced in very limited quantities, and have been sold for well over $200 onl... [check it out]

It took me 15 minutes to fart in my new pair of pants. [check it out]

I'd been interested in one of these things for a while, but unfortunately, the platform dying off even quicker than the ol' 32X had made it quite rare and expensive. Fortunately for me, Game Force had gotten one used, with five games bundled in with it. The only catch was that one of the eyepieces wasn't working; they said they'd try to get that repaired and get back to me. ¶ Well I waited a couple weeks; they called me up and said the thing was working, with the exception of one of the b... [check it out]

We've had people phone us looking for someone not living here, and tell them they've got the wrong number. These people usually don't call back. Today, though, we got a call from some idiot who just couldn't seem to understand her friend DID NOT live at our house. I had no idea why she couldn't figure this out. ¶ My mom and I were talking, and then the phone started ringing. Mom got it, and ended up telling this woman "I'm sorry, there's no one named Jen here. You've got the wrong numb... [check it out]